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Sometimes I wish I were a pigeon. Yes, a pigeon! Those vile ratlike creatures of the skies, the sidewalks, the trees, the power lines. Those torpedoes of biological warfare;Those ugly gray things which seize any opportunity to leave their mark on your car and sometimes your head. Why might I want to be one you ask? That’s easy, they have no worries. If I were a pigeon I wouldn’t have to worry about finishing my homework, the paper that’s due next week, the midterms, the pre/post lab reports, the book I have yet to read, what my GPA is, or what I’m going to make of my life. Pigeons don’t have to worry about complex human emotions, human social interaction, fear of failure, fear of the unknown, fear of being left out. Being a pigeon must surely be good.

Pigeons have but a few simple worries, eating, mating, and surviving. Although one might argue that humans follow the same directive, it is not the same by a long-shot. Pigeons simply need go near a trashcan, and a full buffet awaits them: fries, chocolate, chips, burgers, tacos, anything. Pigeons simply have no trouble acquiring food considering how affluent we must think ourselves that we throw so much of it out. Mating for the pigeon is not so complicated either. Dance a bit, impress the female, and they’re home free. Surviving however can become quite challenging only if there is a kid with a BB Gun, however, how often does that happen nowadays?

Being a pigeon I would be able to fly around and see the world, I would be able to go home whenever my heart desires. I would be able to escape, to be free. Being a pigeon I surely wouldn’t worry about much, considering the size of the pigeon’s brain. If I were a pigeon I would live completely ignorant. However, I am not a pigeon. I am sure pigeons must have their own troubles, but we just can’t fathom them. Nevertheless, how big can the problems of a pigeon be, when they essentially carry all of the diseases of the world and can kill anyone.

I wish I were a pigeon.

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